The day before the first day
Me (texting): hey listen as long as you’re picking up crickets can you check out how expensive dry dog food is? I read that crows sometimes like kibble if it isn’t too big.
Spouse (ten minutes later): The clerk recommended a kind that’s only $6.50 a bag. Want me to grab some?
Me: wait you told the pet store person that I’m trying to feed crows?
Me: yeah that’s probably not even the tenth weirdest thing they’ve heard this year
Me: sure go ahead and grab that bag of kibble
The night before the first day
Me: (covers tiny balcony table with newspaper)
Me: (solemnly puts out a big pile of unsalted peanuts in the shell)
Me: (lays out some dog kibble too)
Me (back inside the apartment): Am I the worst vegan in the world for buying dog food?
Spouse: Not THE worst, no.
Me: okay so I’m bad?
Spouse: Maybe if you were buying it for yourself…
Me: fine whatever
Spouse: Why are you putting it out tonight?
Me: I can’t go out on the balcony during the day!
Me: I might scare them!
Me: And I’ll definitely scare the songbirds!
Me: I hope the crows don’t scare the songbirds.
Me: I hope the crows show up.
The first day
The evening of the first day
Spouse: So, how’d it go?
Me: Okay, I guess.
Me: I mean I didn’t see any crows on the balcony.
Me: But I kind of steered clear just in case.
Me: I saw a few peanut shells on the ledge, so I guess they grabbed them and put them there.
Me: And the rest of the peanuts are gone!
Spouse: That’s good!
Me: Every now and then I’d see a crow fly by with something sticking out of its bill. I think they must have been swooping by and grabbing peanuts on the sly.
Me: They fly really quietly.
Me: Yeah. You can barely hear a thing when they flap. They aren’t quite as quiet as owls, but pretty close. That’s probably a predator adaptation.
Spouse: Makes sense.
Me: They don’t seem to like the dog food, though. There’s still a whole bunch out there.
Spouse: Well, keep trying things out and see what works.
Me: Yeah. Okay, I guess I’d better go out there and clean the songbirds’ water dish and stuff.
Me (out on the balcony, inspecting the site under the light of an electric bulb): …oh.
Me: The crows didn’t eat quite as many peanuts as I thought.
Me: Nice of them to try to feed the floor, though.
Me: Well, I’ll keep trying…
But WILL it pay off? COULD our brave heroine become a really truly friend of the crows?
…whoops. Sorry. Spoiler.
I meant to say: stay tuned!
One thought on “Nutty Crows”
Oh, fun! Crows are terrifyingly intelligent. I look forward to reading more about the Great Crow Adventure.
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